Breakthrough = liberation from shit.

Huge breakthrough realization: Akiko is a doer, Type A, creator, dreamer and inspirational. I always somewhat knew this about myself but now it’s officially confirmed. September in general was a funky month and the past week and a half was the climatic worst. I was physically and mentally burnt out. I put everything on hold and slept a lot. I made a complicated move across Portland from a convenient, comfortable, central location to the outskirts of Portland into a fixer-upper (internet-less!) house that my friend and I will be renovating. Relationships in all areas of my life were unraveling. My insecurities, lack of confidence and cynicism kicked in full force and booted out the ever so energetic, positive, inspired Akiko I love so much.

This was a pivotal experience as I got to choose who I want to be. Do I want to be the self pitying, whiny, insecure, stagnant girl or an empowered, confident, ambitious, kick ass girl? Don’t you worry, I chose the latter

The switch came pretty effortlessly yesterday morning. After two buckets of paint, days of cleaning the new house and putting in the new floor and as I was setting up my new workspace, I had a heart warming vision of me creating my bags. This put an epic smile on my face. Then I realized, I need a consistent creative outlet to be happy. Just like that, I was back in the game. That realization was exactly what I needed to get back in. All month, I was racking my brain to figure out why I was feeling so bladdy-blah. Simply put, I am a creative being who feeds off of creative energy.

The act of creating something with my own two hands and pouring myself into my work is what drives me, what excites me, what inspires the happiness I can then share with others. Also, as I am very sensory oriented, I am heavily influenced by the feel of things. I express love through physical touch or creating things for others. I select clothes by the way they feel. When I go shopping, I just run my hands down the rows of clothing without really looking. Hence, working with my hands is super important to me.

Realizing self expression is so crucial. Through this breakdown came an awesome breakthrough of confirming what feeds my soul:

• Community – being connected and active in my various communities
• 5^th Season – creative outlet; playing a role and providing inspiration to reduce waste and be responsible consumers
• International development – Seeds of Opportunity; interactive art space committed to creating employment opportunities for immigrants and refugees of Portland by utilizing their skilled trades obtained in their native countries.
• Home renovation with Gary – growing up watching New Yankee Workshop and This Old House with the fabulous Mr. Bob Vila, it’s been a long standing dream to buy a rundown home and fix ‘er up. Now I get to do just that with an experienced friend who is super skilled in architecture, construction and wood working.
• Kinky Salon in Portland – we’re in the process of planting a piece of the sex positive culture of San Francisco here in Portland…nothing like this exists in Portland…yet.
• Dancing/music – practice fire hooping and/or enroll into Rose City Burlesque School. Dancing is so key to me. Electronica especially puts me in a completely different state of mind.

Thank you to all of the supportive, beautiful, inspirational people in my life <3 Nothing is possible without you <3